Full transcript of Celine Dion’s "Take a Kayak" on CNN with Larry King
One of the greatest moments in television history, indeed the greatest moment in the history of YouTube, is Celine Dion’s "Take a Kayak."
YouTube, in some sort of Canadian-whackjob-protection strategy, keeps taking down the "Take a Kayak" video. You can watch it here,
for now, until Dion’s goons take down that site. Watch it while you can, and record it for posterity.
In the interest of preserving the historical record in the face of the forces of darkness who would destroy it, following is a full transcript of Celine Dion’s "Take a Kayak," with my favorite lines in bold:
I’m waking up in the morning, I’m having a coffee, I barely can swallow it. I come here, at Caesar’s Palace every night, to perform. I barely can sing. But for respect, for the people who come, I am still singing.
When I come home at night, my son is waiting for me. I watch television. Yes, we gave a million dollar. But what we expect, what I want to look, like the rest of the world, I open the television. There’s people still there, waiting to be rescued, and for me it’s not acceptable. I know there’s reasons for it. I’m sorry to say I’m being rude, but I don’t wanna hear those reasons.
You know, some people are stealing and they’re making a big deal out of it. "Oh, they’re stealing twenty pair of jeans," or "they’re stealing television sets." Who cares? They’re not gonna go too far with it. Maybe those people are so poor, some of the people who do that, they’re so poor they’ve never touched anything in their lives. Let them touch those things for once!
The main thing right now, it’s not the people who are stealing, it’s the people who are left there, and they’re watching helicopsters flying over their heads, and they’re praying. How come it’s so easy to send planes in another country to kill everyone in a second, to destroy lives?
We need to serve our country, and for me to serve our country is to be there right now to rescue the rest of the people. We need the cash, we need the blood, we need the support, right now we need the prayers. It is — you know, when I was hearing a couple of days ago that these things are not reachable, it’s too full of water. Maybe I’m too much like my — I’m not thinking with my head. I’m talking with my heart. Nobody can open any roofs. The helicopters flying in. Take two people at a time. Take a kayak! Go into those walls.
There’s kids being raped at night. We hear gunshots, big guns, what’s that? Those people are praying, they’re walking, they’re like this: "Hello? Do you see us? We’re still alive. But we’re dying!"
It’s terrible. I do not want to talk to you about money.
(Q on talking to her son about it)
Well, I have to say that Renee Charles, yeah, Renee Charles knows because he sometimes watches televisions with me and I’m saying to him, "Those people went through a big storm and they will be fine," because I know at the end they’ll be fine, and I hope and I’m — we’re all praying for them. I’m trying not to put to Renee Charles something so dramatic and that’s why I’m sorry for crying so hard because I’m holding it for the last week.
And I’m trying to to tell my son that everything’s gonna be OK but I see those mothers over there, they’re like Cheese Whiz! You know, it’s awful.
(Q on donating a million dollars)
I understand it’s very important because eventually we will need that money. But it’s just very frustrating that Franco and Conscience West and me all bill one million dollar. This is one thing. In 3 months, in 6 months, they will need that money. Right now, they’re praying for water. So we need to send them the water. They don’t care about my check. So, it’s just frustrating because on our part of the world, we’re trying our best and we’re expecting those people — errrfffff!!!
—I’m sorry.
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